Choices that we continue to make that do not resonate with our spirits create a constant feeling of unease and unhappiness.  You start to wonder is this what life is all about and how did I get to this place?  We compromise and put our needs on the back burner always saying yes to others and no to ourselves.  Women feel this strongly but from the men that I have spoken with they too feel this angst.  Getting our happy back is not a destination we are not searching for a happy place or a person who has extra happy for us to borrow or even a store that sells happy buy the cart load.  We may feel like happiness is external most of the time but we must remember authentic happiness is closer than we thought.  It resides right there inside each one of us and we can tap into it at our leisure anytime of the day or night.

The first decision to make is to take stock in what you say yes to each day, every month and all year.  Heres an example list: I say yes to: credit card debt of $2000, work schedule of 50 hours a week, live in significant other, red bath towels on sale but not what I really like, gym membership $50 per month….
Once you have a list to work with decide if it makes you happy to say yes to these things.  How many items bring you happiness?  Now make another list of what you say no to, I say no to: a work schedule of 60 hours of work, the gel toothpaste on sale because I like paste, that extra slice of pie 600 calories I don’t need.  You get the idea well the goal is to start saying no to things that decrease your happy and yes to the things that truly increase your happiness.  This list is supposed to be all about you and your true feelings not pleasing everyone else.

This exercise will do two things one make you accountable for your choices the support your own happiness and two add balance to your yes and no actions.  Balance is key to being happy if you can discover that it pleases you to give to others as long as you are taking good care of yourself then you are well on your way to getting your happy back….

Nothing is stopping you, did you know that?   I mean truly know that there is absolutely nothing stopping you or me or anyone from what they want.  I believe the biggest lie that we have all believed at some point in our development is that some things are impossible.  SOME things are impossible only if you never discover the SOMEhow.  I could give you a million examples of people who found their somehow and accomplished something huge.  Some impossible thing it must have been to climb Mt. Everest but somehow people do it everyday.  Some impossible thing it must have been to build the pyramids of Egypt or the skyscrapers of the city but somehow people accomplished these things.  Some impossible thing it must of been to finish what you start but if you look for the somehow you too will succeed.

We often give ourselves too many excuses for why we aren’t doing what we want to do.  Give yourself one excuse to stop trying once you have exhausted the somehow.  I guarantee that you will find that you didn’t need to stop because somehow you reached your goal.  Lets look for the somehow in all the challenges that we face and somehow we will become great people just like the ones before us…

Doubt comes in many flavors, self doubt the yummiest variety, friend doubt the tangy one, family doubt the sour one, and of course reality doubt the blandest of all.
Self doubt is your favorite indulgence we gobble this up with little thought about the weight gain or the stomach ache.  It spends a moment on the lips and forever on the fritz this self doubt really derails all actions in the right direction because it comes from within.  Friend doubt isn’t at all friendly it’s so tangy it can burn the tip of your tongue.  Friend doubt strikes when you least expect it like when you are venting your frustrations and opening your heart all of a sudden this place that you thought was safe becomes a mine field.  Family doubt leaves the sourest taste in your mouth for days even months it hits literally close to home and may even require you to move out to free yourself from its grasp.  Family doubt lingers the longest because it knows your past and thinks it can tell you your future.  Reality doubt is so bland you may not even realize that you just ate the entire container but you did it burps up all types of negative ideas and thoughts about your abilities.  Reality doubt can seem like the authority of success and what is possible it turns your stomach in the worst way because it shapes the way you see the world.
Doubt may come in many flavors but that doesn’t mean that you have to eat it.  You can go on what I like to call the Doubt Diet, matter of fact I am on it right now and it’s allowing me to actually share some of the advice that my doubt has had me suppressing.  Join me on my Doubt Diet and lets do things that we’ve only dreamed about and lets always remember that only we can decide how far we go others can only watch from the distance…

That is such a loaded question I really can’t believe that people you meet for two seconds are actually asking for your address as if they plan on sending you correspondence.  We all know the real reason people ask this, it truly is quite obvious.  It’s right up the alley of So What Do You Do? and What Gym Do You Belong To? it’s both condescending and a bit too personal for a casual meeting that will go absolutely nowhere.  Each time I am asked it always shocks me because it’s like uh oh I have to validate my worth to a perfect stranger in order to have a conversation with them.  I have literally answered on purpose the state in which we are located without blinking an eye.
You might argue that if you have a problem answering that question you must be ashamed of where you live or work.  I’ve thought long and hard about this and I’m pretty sure that’s not it, I just believe in getting to know the person you are talking too without a bunch of pre-conceived notions that I may hold or society may hold on address, occupation, marital status, college credentials etc.
To say that we don’t size people up when we first meet them would be untrue but maybe if we make an effort to ask questions about character, life, ideas then these casual meetings would become much more significant and friendships would flourish.  I will make an effort to really meet people and give everyone the same attention that I value from my friends besides it is the polite thing to do….

I believe for the most part we are unaware of exactly why we choose to find the negative first.  I think for a lot of us it is subconscious and automatic.  You may even be reading my statements now and thinking what does she know, why should I listen to her?  It could come from a place of fear there is a quote that says critics are just people too fearful to do what you do.  It could be that the majority of our interactions with others revolves around comparisons.  We compare outfits, personalities, jobs, neighborhoods, bank accounts, knowledge and so on.  No wonder we always have an opinion about how people look and act and their position in life we are programed to be negative.  Well what can we do now that we are aware of this behavior?
Decide to look for the positive, sometimes this can be challenging but it will teach you to focus on the bright side and although you get an ego boost off the negative you will get something with lasting value a karmic gift adding to the positive light all around you.  Find one good thing about any given situation and you may find life treating you as kindly as you treat it….

I’m a big fan of zoning out and listening to music while I get my workout on, and I found this nice simple article on reasons why YOU should do the same. After reading, make a way to take your workouts to the next level on your own by adding some music to your routine, and if not, then just keep having the same ol’ boring workout you’ve been doing for the past year and get nowhere. LoL, I’m kidding, but not really, so go get your ipod, zune, cd player, tape player, a-track player, boombox, or whatever it is you use, and #getitin…

Music & Exercise: 5 ways music enhances your workouts
by: Michele Silence, MA

It seems like everyone uses an iPod, a wrist radio, or listens to the music at their local gyms. Have you ever wondered whether there’s a real benefit to hearing your favorite songs while you’re exercising? If you’re a diehard music fan, I’m sure you can list plenty of reasons why it’s an important part of your life. But there are some universal ways that music enhances exercise. Here are a few of the most common music benefits your workout.

1.   Listening to music promotes dissociation
When totally absorbed in music, your focus changes from what your body is experiencing to the external sounds you’re hearing. This situation leads you into a state in which you ignore negative feelings of fatigue and focus on the pleasurable feelings you get from following the rhythm of the music.

2.   Music acts as a performance aid
Whether you need to step things up or cool down, music can help you achieve both. Energizing, fast music can inject you with vigor. Slow, mellow music can lead to a state of deep relaxation. Depending on your goals and what you need most, you can use music to achieve it.

3.   The rhythm of the music can enhance your movement flow
If you select the ideal tempo of music for the exercises you’re doing, you can actually heighten the flow of your exercises. When strength training, chose songs with a BPM (beats per minute) of about 120 to keep your speed on track. When running, chose a higher BPM to match your cadence and keep a comfortable pace. When you’re in sync with the music, exercise seems smoother and more motivating.

4.   Choice of music is important for increasing muscle strength
If your goal is improving strength, don’t listen to relaxing music while pumping iron. Studies suggest that you’ll have bigger strength gains if you exercise in a silent atmosphere than if you exercise while listening to softer tunes. In fact, slow music can actually decrease muscular ability.

5.   Listening to music you like helps with motivation
This goes right to the core of every workout—motivation. If you hear music you like, you’re more likely to return and do it again. Listening to songs that you enjoy increases exercise adherence, thus leading to fitness gains over time.

So, whatever your reason for putting on the headphones, keep it up. If you’re outside keep an eye and ear open for oncoming obstacles. Other than that, crank up your personal favorites and sing along.

The holiday weekend is over, and everyone’s back to their normal scheduled lives, but has everyone gone back to exercising? I hope so, because I’ve been getting a lot of questions over the past few days about weights and weight lifting. Some have been asking me is it safe to use weights during exercise instead of easier ways to exercise like bike riding, or running, and are you more likely to injure yourself if you do decide to use weights. These are questions that came from people that are on the edge of using weights in their routines, men and women, and I’m here to say yes… weights are safe, preferred, and used the right way extremely hard to injure yourself, whether you’re a beginner or not. I’ll explain why…

Of course we all know that weights build muscles and make you stronger, but some people seem to think that because you’re lifting weights, heavy or light, that it’s not safe and you’ll injure yourself. If you heard this from anyone, they’re wrong, and don’t listen to them. Why? Because there’s less injuries in using weights than any other type of equipment exercising. You have to be in a controlled area, where you can safely use the weights and have enough room to use them of course, but the risk is very low. You’d be surprised, research has shown that more people injure themselves off a bicycle and golfing before the weights.

The reason there’s less injuries is because when you weight train, you’re exercising your muscles, which in turn become stronger and is able to withstand heavy lifting or movement. As well, when your muscles get stronger, your bones have to get stronger in order to hold the muscles up and lift. You’ve already killed 2 birds with 1 stone, weights equals stronger muscles and bones. You won’t become as fragile and injure prone as you would be if you start using weighs in your exercising, and that’ll help with everyday activities as well.

And another thing, ladies, if you start using weights you won’t get buff or start looking like a man, no matter how hard you train. Your bodies aren’t designed to look like mens, and they never will be. Even though you see those female body builders that look tougher, stronger, and cut up then your flabby boyfriend, it’s because they take hormones and other genetic supplements that get them to look like that. All the natural women who just use weights solely to stay fit and healthy, have the body of a goddess and don’t need anything extra, and you could look like them too with a little weight in your cardio, trust me.

Now that the ladies have an idea of what to do to get a better butt, let’s go a little lower, literally, to the legs and see what you can to do have better shaped legs.  You can’t have a nice shaped butt without having nicely toned legs, and can’t have nicely toned legs without having a nice shaped butt.  I mean, I’m pretty sure none of you want to walk around with the weirdest shaped body, so might as well hit ALL of your lower body than just certain parts. Here’s another article I found that speaks on everything you need to know about exercising your legs, here you go ladies…

Thigh Exercises for Women
by: Nitin Chhoda

Today I went kinda blank on what I wanted to post about, until a friend of mines suggest I should post something for the ladies, and of course the first thing that comes to mind is them wanting a better butt.  There’s probably not too many females that don’t want a better backside, unless their focus is on another part of their body, but every woman in the world wants a nice shaped butt, not too big, not too small.  So I did a little research and found a pretty simple article that the average person can do to achieve their goal of a better butt.  I agree with the article 100% because it’s pretty much the beginning and foundations of ways to get a better butt without all these pills, remedies, eating habits, and myths that everyone goes around doing.  Everyone’s body is different, yes, but like I said these are the general basic ways everyone should to do reach their “booty goal”, LoL. So with all that being said, read it and apply it to your workout.  Let the Big Booty Judy’s arise…

 Butt Toning Exercises

Nowadays people put many efforts to make themselves look good in order to develop their self-confidence. Having out-of-shape butts is a common problem, as people usually are dissatisfied with their unshapely butts. Most of the people complain of having either too small or too big butts. Especially women are more concerned about having butts in shape, because flabby as well as flat butts make their expensive dress look pathetic. This is mainly because fat deposits more on women’s butt as compared to other areas of the body.

Staying active and watching what you eat are the two major parts of being fit and healthy, but I believe the 3rd and final most important ingredient that everyone overlooks is resting.   Resting is a big part of a healthy lifestyle because without it your body wouldn’t be able to recover properly and you’d be sore day in and day out.  There’s two parts I’m going to talk about when dealing with rest, when you’re in the gym and need a break in between each exercise, and when you’re not in the gym staying active.

First let’s talk about getting “active rest” while you’re in the gym working out.  You go into a gym and you’ll see people either look like they’re not even breaking a sweat because they’re not doing shit, or you’ll see the ones that are going from exercise to exercise without any breaks, and they’re not even doing any aerobic exercises.  You need active rests during your workouts because your body needs a small break period to gain it’s strength back and prepare for the next set or exercise you’re about to do.  When you’re exercising and you feel that fatigue(when your body gets tired), and you’re getting weak, that means its time for a short rest.  Once you’ve finished your exercise or set, make sure to keep track of how long you’re resting.  On an average, you should be resting no more than 60seconds depending on your routine.  If you’re exercising for a particular look you want your body to have, I would suggest resting 45seconds to 60seconds between each set/exercise.  If you’re going for fat loss, I would say 30seconds to 45seconds, that way you keep your body in a active state without fatiguing yourself too bad.  And if you’re going for strength, I would say 90+ seconds to allow your muscles to recovery so you can give your all the next go around.

An active rest can be anything, you can either pause your exercises, take a drink of water to rehydrate yourself, get a small set of sit-ups in, or slowly pace/walk around to gather your breathe.  There’s different ways you can actively rest, it’s all by preference.  This means you do need a watch on to keep track, or a clock around you so you can make sure you’re not over-resting and cooling your body back down.

Next up, and most importantly is resting when you’re not in the gym, that means taking a big break from working out and sleeping.  No matter how you split your routines up throughout the week, you need rest in between.  Research has proven that everyday you need at least 7 hours of sleep in order for your body to recover, anything less than that and you’re short changing yourself.  Your body can only take so much before it needs a break, and a break includes not touching weights or exercising at all.  Even if you’re exercising 5 days a week for a month, to keep from overtraining you should take a short week off to allow your body to return to a healing state, and I bet you’ll feel a lot better and stronger when you do return back to the gym.  Don’t worry, just because you took a week off doesn’t mean you’ll get fat all over again or get weaker, your body has already adapted to the workout you’re putting it through, and with muscle memory you’ll come back to the gym feeling like you’re on top of the world.

Even for the more advance group that split train, or have a certain regime that allows them to workout different body parts different days, make sure to rest the body part you just worked out for no less than 48 hours before returning back to it, unless you’re on a certain regime where you’re not focusing all on one body part in one day.

The reason for resting like this is because you want all the work your putting in to pay off, and it can’t pay off without proper rest.  If all you do is work your body to the ground, you won’t allow it to rebuild and end up being stronger.  When you rest, it’s not stopping your body from getting better, it’s actually helping your body.  Most of the changes your body goes through is done outside the gym anyways, so why train like a mad person and not help your body the way it should?  During the rest periods, your body will either continue to burn fat without doing anything, continue to build muscle without lifting anything, get stronger without any stress on your muscles, and gives you time to fully exercise beyond what you’ve already done once you’ve taken a break and jump back into.

With all that being said, don’t go too hard, especially if you’re beginning. Rest just as much as you workout, just like you watch what you eat just as much as you figure out what exercises to do, and with all 3 components, you’ll be the sexiest person in the gym in another month or so. LoL